Host: [Music] Okay. Welcome to another episode of Between Two Servers. I'm your host, Hayden Baillio. I'm here with Brad…Wood. Brad, thanks for being on the show.

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Guest: Thank you. It's your pleasure, I’m sure.

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Host: Sorry, your hat's distracting me. 

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Guest: Oh, oh, yeah. Sorry.

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Host: It says you've been using Cold Fusion since 2002. Is that a confession or are you looking for someone to stage an intervention?

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Guest: Well, you know, as a massochist, I just kind of go for the maximum pain available. So the the longer the better, I guess.

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Host: Like uh like the humiliation of wearing that hat in public.

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Guest: Yeah I mean who would opt into this, right? Um, but now I use boxing, which my hat is powered by boxing so it's much cooler.

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Host: Okay, plug. All right, uh, you're giving a talk into the Box 2025 and it promises to teach box modules without a single line of Java code. Is that because you tried Java once and it gave you PTSD or…?

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Guest: Is that what they said the talk is going to say? Oh, crap. Uh, yeah, sure, I guess. I don't…I don't know Java, so…

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Host: Just for context we are at a Java conference right now.

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Guest: Okay, the hat's really all I've got.

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Host: Impostor syndrome. Um you enjoy configuring and performance turning performance tuning high availability windows in Linux Cold Fusion environments. Do you also enjoy watching paint dry or is that just too exciting for you?

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Guest: Well, I actually like to paint the server um and then watch this paint dry on the server while it configures it's a kind of a one-two punch you know? 

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Host: Probably still uses lead based paint as well.

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Guest: It tastes the best.

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Host: You fell in love with Cold Fusion as a way to easily connect a database to a website. Is your dating profile also this aggressively unambitious?

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Guest: Uh, I wouldn't know. I've been married for 22–3–years. 

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Host: Does your wife like you're on dating sites now?

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Guest: I am not.

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Host: Just kidding. Just kidding. Not trying to ruin a marriage over here. 

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Guest: If she did, she'd probably try to pick me up, though.

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Host: She'd swipe right or left maybe. Actually your bio mentions you have three daughters. Do they know what their dad does for a living or have you spared them that particular disappointment?

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Guest: Oh, um they do, actually. My middle daughter's actually is learning boxing. She wants to be a programmer so she wants to share in the disappointment with me apparently.

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Host: This guy's got a million plugs for something down there. You minored in music in college. Is that where you learn to keep playing the same obsolete technology like it's a familiar tune nobody asked for?

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Guest: Um I don't know um what uh what um it was just it was fun.

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Host: What musical instruments did you learn?

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Guest: Trumpet, clarinet, guitar, the main ones.

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Host: Okay. Have you ever been in a band?

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Guest: I'm in a band 

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Host: …Says a lot. 

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Guest: It says more about you than it does me though, doesn't it?

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Host: …Sure. How does it feel knowing that most developers think Cold Fusion is something NASA used in the 1960s rather than a language people still use?

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Guest: Uh well it was actually invented in 1995 i don't think anybody was using it in the 1960s.

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Host: It does sounds like something from a 007 film, though.

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Guest: Uh well the the movie called Fusion with Val Kilmer came out I believe in 1995 as well which is actually where the name came from because it was like this cool you know futury thing but it's hard to follow that keyword on Twitter because all you find is like the you know like free energy hashtag stuff.

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Host: Wait, that's not what you do.

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Guest: …No. 

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Host: Andrew I thought we got somebody on here for free energy. What the hell?

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Guest: I have free boxing, though. Did I mention it's open source?

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Host: Your talk title includes customize your runtime. Is runtime what you call the brief moments when Cold Fusion isn't crashing or…?

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Guest: Well actually it's the Boxling runtime it's a talk about Boxling so…oh uh but it does run fast.

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Host: I had bad information. You say your talk offers endless possibilities. Is that like when my grandma says her flip phone has endless possibilities because it can also tell the time?

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Guest: It's more of a reference to when I write like infinite loops and I forget to like break out of them and then it just runs forever. That's really more the endless aspect of it.

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Host: Did you make your hat yourself 

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Guest: I did, actually.

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Host: It's kind of cool.

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Guest: I'm a little terrified to fly with it because there's like custom soldered circuitry in it and I'm always afraid TSA will think it's a bomb but so far I I've always made it through. Don't tell TSA that.

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Host: “Okay” is relative here. Your bio says you enjoy international food. Is that the most adventurous thing about you or did you leave out your stamp collection?

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Guest: I don't have a stamp collection. I do still have all my Legos from my youth so maybe that's kind of the same thing? You just…you don't lick them when you stick them together, I guess it's the main difference probably. I guess.

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Host: It's probably pretty good investment to still have those Legos actually. You mentioned being intimidated by Java. is that because it's still relevant in 2025 or…?

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Guest: I didn't actually even write that session description so I don't even know what it says but uh uh I suppose it could be intimidating if like you're scared of things easily. I don't know.

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Host: Do you often have other people do your work for you, like writing descriptions to your talks?

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Guest: I mean, delegation is one of the most important you know powers right? Like why do when you can just delegate to someone else it'll be fine I'm sure. probably.

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Host: Well this has been enlightening and a boxing commercial.

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Guest: Here was some lightning last night wasn't there.

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Host: Anyways, Brad, thank you for joining between two servers. And thanks for watching. Have a good one. [Music]